The Motherhood Series: Motherhood and Singleness

I am beyond excited about today’s guest for the second installment of The Motherhood Series! If you haven’t already, check out last week’s guest, Rhonda Ryan, as we discussed Motherhood and Networking. Then meet me back here!

Meet Our Guest!

I met Kim Sanon a little over six years ago when I was still nursing my baby boy. Over the years, I’ve watched Kim grow into a woman who loves God fiercely and is an amazing mother to her son. Kim has the brightest smile and warmest laugh! She is kind and genuine, both of these are qualities I admire greatly about her. I also love Kim’s openness and her ability to embrace all that God has for her with an air of humility and grace. To know Kim is to love her! Join me now as we walk for a time along Kim’s motherhood journey.

How old were you when you found out you were pregnant and what went through your mind? 

I was 23 years old when I found out I was pregnant. To be honest, I wasn’t too excited. I felt really numb to the idea of raising a child. I just graduated college and I was in and out of a relationship with my now ex.

As the weeks passed by and I kept getting morning sickness, I slowly began to accept I was pregnant. I didn’t have support, health insurance or a secured job. I got to the point of thinking about getting an abortion. Pushing through the “Oh crap, this is really happening” moment, I asked God for help because I truly felt hopeless.

After laying on my bed crying, I remember I hearing the words, “The book of James”. I said, “I’m tripping, there isn’t a book of James in the Bible.” I got up, grabbed my Bible, turned to the index and there it was!

I was shocked!

I read the whole book. But Chapter one verse five really stuck out. It says, “If any of you lack wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you generously.” Right then, I asked God for wisdom. Almost immediately, I heard the word “Alpha” in my heart.

AlphaCare, previously known as Alpha Pregnancy Services, is an organization in Philadelphia that helps and supports mothers, especially single mothers, during their pregnancies. I first heard about AlphaCare in high school. So I remembered their mission.

After a Google search, I found their website and called. THAT DAY a nurse and a social worker came to meet with me. The nurse gave me my first onesie for my son, Christopher! And seven months later, I gave him the middle name James as a reminder of the moment God brought me from a place of hopelessness to a new chapter with my baby boy, C.J. I didn’t know it then, but it was the beginning of God’s redemptive story for my life.

What is your favorite part about being a mother?

My favorite part about being a mother is watching C.J. grow up, try new things, and getting to know the person who God created. C.J. is 3 years old, loves to learn and play with dinosaurs. We like to watch shows like Dinosaur Train on PBS Kids and chase each other around while pretending to be dinosaurs.

What strengths do you already possess that make you the best mother for your son?

The best strength I possess in being the best mom for C.J. would be seeking God in every decision concerning him. Whether it’s deciding on his daycare, which new foods to try, which therapist I should go to and even how to co-parent with his father, I pray to God about everything.

Jesus is my guide and my light in every area of my life. The more I seek Him, the more I can hear Him on which decisions to make concerning His [God’s] family. I like to say, “God, this your family; C.J., you’re God’s son!” Doing this brings me comfort and builds up confidence within me. Another great strength is my playfulness with C.J. We can laugh just about anything.

What do single mothers need more of from people? What do they need less of?

I think single mothers need more love, encouragement and support from people. We need to be viewed through the lens of dignity. We need others to view us as a person and a woman first. Instead of instantly being seen as a single mother. We go through the same trials, tests, triumphs and moments as other women, including married women. By viewing us through the lens of dignity, this will help build a bridge amongst women in different stages of life.

I also think we need less generalization. Single mothers don’t need to be categorized in a huge bubble. As a single mother, I’ve learned its crucial not to categorize us all with the same interests, struggles or needs. For example, one may need a new outfit for a Disney World vacation and another may need encouraging words before a custody court case. Situations can vary!

Although, as single mothers, we may have some things in common (being a single parent), each of us are unique and have a unique story. That’s my favorite part about our friendship, Court. You took time to get to know me and are really kind to me while also giving me great tips on motherhood. That love and support helped me through tough times during my pregnancy and even now.

How do you manage the stresses and pressures of life?

A couple things…the first thing I do is pray. And I don’t mean “thou art shall”. I don’t talk like that so that means I don’t pray like that. During stressful moments, I pray really quick prayers. For example, if C. J. is acting up, I quickly ask for patience and for bedtime to come quickly! (Moms of tots know what I’m talking about!) But seriously, it gets hard sometimes. I also journal, cry, dance to my worship playlist or my “Turnt for Christ” playlist, read encouraging scriptures like Psalm 23…etc.

The joy of the Lord is my strength and in His presence there is fullness of joy!

Also, my community of family, friends and leaders are there for me, especially my family in the faith! The right therapist is also really beneficial. I went to therapy for over a year and it was really helpful. I especially worked through a lot of heart issues such as bitterness, unforgiveness, etc.

As a single mom, some of us can fall into the trap of pride in not asking for help when we need it or not being open when things get tough. Sometimes we can feel like we are an inconvenience. I know I had many moments like that. That is something the Lord is still working in my heart!

How do you handle the involvement of loved ones in your parenting decisions?

This is a great question! To be honest, I am still learning, especially with his grandparents, because they love spoiling him. It’s something special about that grandparent/grandchild relationship. Sometimes I’m like, “Dang you didn’t give me this much candy when I was younger!” I do ask his dad and my friends and family about certain parental decisions. I haven’t gotten into any major disagreement about my parenting decisions, but hopefully when that happens I will handle the situation with grace and love.

How do you silence your inner critic?

Again, this is a great question Court! Wow! To be honest, this is a tough question. This can be a weekly, sometimes daily struggle! In this season of my life, I say a lot of biblical declarations! I look in the mirror and say, “I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus who loves me.” At first, I feel silly but then it encourages me. I journal a lot of my feelings out, writing letters to Jesus. Again, it feels a bit silly, but then, I feel a weight lifted.

What do you hope for your son’s future?

My biggest hope for him is to be a strong man of God. And in “strong”, I mean clinging to God in the good and tough times. [I want him] to show others what it means to follow Christ, to encourage others and to help bring God’s love on earth. I don’t have a particular career path or school I hope C.J. will follow. I am honestly asking God what His specific plans are for him and how can I collaborate with Him to guide C.J. on that path.

What do you hope for your future?

I hope to hold onto and embrace God’s love and boldness, to help spread hope and His love on Earth. Earlier I said I dance, I love to dance. Helping and teaching others how to dance is one of the ways I help spread God’s love and joy to others.

My biggest hope for my future is not only to hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant” at the end of my days, but to also hear “Daughter you have made me so proud!” – – by the Creator of my soul, God Himself.

What gives you joy?

Seeing other women live their best life in God…seeing others living in their God-given purpose, fulfilling their calling [is what gives me joy]. Other things that give me joy include hanging out with my friends, reading and listening to books, listening to podcasts, writing, dancing, teaching C.J. new pre-K concepts and much more.

What would you say to someone who might be scared as they face an unplanned pregnancy?  

It may feel like you can’t…like you can’t do it, like you can’t see yourself having a child (or another child). But, I’m here to tell you that God will never leave you or abandon you. And He is faithful when we are faithless! He loves you so much. He will help you every step of the way!

He has blessed you with a child. I know it may not feel like a blessing, but your child is a blessing and sis, you are a blessing too. Ask God for wisdom and believe He will give it to you! Even in our darkest moments, He can be our light to guide us.

You are His diamond, the apple of His eyes!

He’s patiently waiting for you to turn to Him, or return to Him! If you are in the Philadelphia area, reach out to AlphaCare Pregnancy Center. Or if you’re outside of Philadelphia, search for any local pregnancy center or church that can help support you.

You may have some naysayers in your ear. Your inner critic might say you can’t go through [with] this pregnancy, but guess what?! YOU CAN! I know because I did! You can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you! Reject all anxious thoughts about money, your career, dreams, family, etc. Again, you can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you! You have an army of people here praying and rooting for you! We love you and remember, Jesus loves you more!

Well there you have it folks…like I said before, to know Kim is to love her! Thank you Kim for sharing your heart with us today.

And thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the next installment of The Motherhood Series, dropping next week! Oh, and one teensy disclaimer, I was not compensated in any way for the AlphaCare plug. Its mention was the at the sole discretion of my beautiful guest today. But, if you, or someone you know would like more information about AlphaCare and all of its services, you can find their website here.

Until next time my friends!

Blessings,

Courtney

(* Featured image credit)

About Able to Teachhttps://able2teach.orgChrist follower. Wife. Mother. Friend. Writer...and excited to grow! I believe there's a need for more down-to-earth online spaces in which moms like you and me and anyone else in-between can explore the in's and out's of homeschooling free from competition yet rich with encouragement. I'm hoping to do that through the sharing of resources and any ideas I may stumble across as well as giving you a tiny peek inside our homeschool life. Together we can experience the good, the bad and the sometimes cranky of this homeschool journey. So if you're motivated beyond the messiness I encourage you to come along for the ride! You might just be surprised what you find out. :)

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